parental estrangement is an anxiety producing epidemic.

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When my adult daughter didn’t want to have a relationship with me, there was such a sense of urgency and anxiety. I felt uneasy with leaving things up in the air. I wanted to solve it, and solve it immediately.

But with parental estrangement, the resolution often doesn’t happen all at once. It’s usually a gradual reconciliation process, and parental estrangement actually requires some time for all involved to process emotions and be ready to heal. I wasn’t comfortable with that at the time, and having to leave things so undone made me feel panicked.

In a session with an estrangement coaching client, I was reminded of that anxiety because she was experiencing those same kinds of feelings. The thing is, not only does the anxiety make us miserable, but it can make the estrangement last longer. Because when you’re anxious, you tend to communicate in ways that feel urgent, and put pressure on your estranged daughter or son.

You might not mean to do that at all, but when you’re coming from an anxious or desperate place, it feels like high pressure to your adult child. That sense of pressure leads to them avoiding contact even more.

Reduce the anxiety during parental estrangement

So how can you relieve some of the anxiety so that you feel calmer? And so that when the time is right for reconciliation, your texts, phone calls or emails don’t come across as pushy or pressuring?

One thing you can do is remind yourself that the estrangement is happening in a season of your life, and seasons change. Many estrangements from adult children end in reconciliation.

Remember that seasons change

And of the parental estrangements that do not end in reconciliation, many of those could have, if the mom had taken specific steps to get there. Things like healing from her own trauma, learning to use S/spiritual warfare for a good outcome and getting the right support to guide her through the estrangement journey.

So remind yourself often. This is a season and seasons change. You are not doomed to feel this way forever.

Meditate on these Bible verses during parental estrangement

Another thing to do is to meditate on the following verses every morning and every night, right before bed.

John 15:7 ESV

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

If you are feeling powerless in the estrangement, pay close attention to that verse. It lets you know that when you are in God’s will, you can ask whatever you want to ask and He will do it. Now, we don’t know when He will do it and God’s time is not bound by our sense of time. But God is faithful and this verse reminds us of our power through Him.

1 Peter 5:7 ESV

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

You may sometimes feel alone in the parental estrangement journey, but friend, you are not alone. God cares for you. Think about how excited people become if they get the attention of a celebrity, or the president of the United States. But you have the care of Jesus, the Creator of the universe. The Giver of life!

He cares about what is troubling you. He cares about your anxious feelings. He cares that you’re hurting. And He is the One who can truly do something about it.

So give Him what’s burdening you and causing you to feel anxious. Tell Him your feelings and thoughts. And then release it at His feet. Allow yourself to trust that He is handling anything that needs handled.

I remember many years ago when I was pregnant with my oldest son, Zarse, and I had sleep apnea during part of the pregnancy. I was afraid to go sleep. I felt anxiety about it.

So my mom literally sat next to me and kept watch over me so I could rest for a while. She said she would wake me up if I stopped breathing. And that was the only way I could rest at the time.

If an earthly parent loves us that much, how much more does our Heavenly Father love us? You can feel safe and confident in taking your rest and believing that God will keep watch over you, and over this situation.

Psalm 94:19 ESV

19 When the cares of my heart are many,

your consolations cheer my soul.

You don’t have to wait for parental estrangement to end to feel better

While your heart may be heavy about your estrangement situation, you can also be consoled at the same time. You can feel happiness while also walking through parental estrangement.

In the world’s view this might not make sense, but you are not of this world. We operate from a supernatural center point, and our God is capable of all good things.

Remember, you have hope and peace available to you that the world doesn’t understand. That hope and peace is not shaken or controlled by external things. When you take care of yourself, and reduce your anxiety, you feel better and you improve the odds of healing your family.

Okay friend, that’s what I have for you this time and I hope it blesses you.

Reduce Parental Estrangement Anxiety With These Bible Verses

parental estrangement is an anxiety producing epidemic.

Reduce the anxiety during parental estrangement

Remember that seasons change

Meditate on these Bible verses during parental estrangement

You don’t have to wait for parental estrangement to end to feel better